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edliew
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Name: edmund
Birthday: 9/10/1988
Gender: Male
Interests: architecture, buildings, design, football, tv shows, movies, travel(keen in but can't afford)..
Expertise: none... but hope to be an expert in everything..
Occupation: student
Message: message me
MSN: wyliew1988@hotmail.com
Member Since:
3/30/2007
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| It has been approximately 2 years and 9 months since I last blogged. I suppose I am just typing to myself right now as no one expects I'd be dropping an entry out in a sudden. There are generally two intentions for blogging. One is to promote how happening your life is to the world; whereas the other one is because you feel so frustrated over your mundane life that it's too boring to tell anyone, so you decided to put them in words here.
Surprisingly, it has come to the point where I am feeling lost in my life. I have been waiting patiently for the day where I manage to find 'the thing'. However, I discovered that thing is just something floating in the midst of the air, so aimless, so unnoticeable, so fucking empty. I do not know what I want, I do not know what I am striving hard for anymore. I felt weaker and helpless whenever I thought I could do it all by myself. I miss the people around me, who used to be more solid and attached to me.
I used to be a reserved kid, then an articulate teenager, and now, I am ashamed that I have turned back into a reserved adult. What the fuck is wrong with me? I think I just couldn't find the right ears to spill the trashes inside me. They are rotting in me gradually.
A sense of belonging is pretty crucial to me. I thought that I was an adaptive person. Therefore, I have been taking up all the challenges to live alone. I have pursued my studies in the UK and have been going on an exchange in Sweden just four months after I arrived at the UK. I have been enjoying most of the moments that I have gone through. But deep inside, the memories were too shallow to be etched in my mind. I don't know why.
Since 2001, I have not had a frequent complete family reunion because my big bro had gone overseas for studies. Since 2006, I have lost a big portion of my attachment with my twin brother who had been the bestest companion in my life. Likewise since 2006, I have been apart with my hometown and family most of the time till now. I am glad I have had my friends with me all these while, regardless of hi-bye friends, mere classmates, friends' friends, hang out-only friends or my true friends. You were the ones who made my life happening, and the ones who made my life empty. Till the end of the day, I just feel like going home, to where I belonged, to where the friendly ears were, and where people who loved me were.
Moving on, I had loved a girl so much previously, that I had spent 4 years on her although we had just been together for 7 months. I believed miracle would happen as long as I had the faith to wait. Moron! Don't talk as if you know tonnes about love! It's as complicated as rocket-science. I would say the time I spent was utter wasteful. I am glad that I have let it go.
I do not really know why things are always going so slow for me. Now I am in love with another girl, who I had a crush almost 2 years ago. I did not notice her even though we had been classmates for 2 and a half years. The whole world seemed to disagree that the cupid struck me a love arrow of her. I couldn't believe the strange chemistry that made my heart palpitated faster. I was such a moronic coward not daring to approach her. It took quite a long time till we became normal friends from strangers. I had a low self-esteem I didn't dare to do much about it. One day, I just decided to confess while expecting a reject. And not to my surprise, I got rejected.
A year plus till now, we have been really close. I guess the only way to describe our situation is 'just one step to becoming couple'. I will definitely grasp it firmly since it has been what I dreamed for. Unfortunately, I feel a little tired. I have been trying to approach her and tolerate her cold shoulders. Now as I have gone through all these challenges, God has given us a task again- long-distance. Our relationship ignited when we were 4 months apart from each other. We are going to meet up in another 3 weeks time, but sadly the meet-up will only last for few days before we go apart again for another 3 months. Patience? No more patience. I am getting worried that my faith is going dry soon. We don't have a strong foundation and yet things are still going against my will. Well, let's see then. =[
I have been in Sweden longer than in Glasgow. I always thought Glasgow is where I truly belong (besides Malaysia of course). I can't actually define now because I felt so unfamiliar with my friends back in Glasgow. I can't feel the attachment anymore. Will I feel empty and strange after I have gone back, and lose the sense of belonging? Well, I hope things will only become better.
There are so much more to spill.. But I guess this is where I should stop. 'Stay strong and happy', I say to myself. =]
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Something to share again.. I read The Star and came across the news about the Batik Fashion Design Contest held in KL. The Vonjolly team had won the contest. One of their creation which I found the best was this dress named Drape. It is a half shoulder gown with thigh-high slit. The base colour which is light blue provides a sense of purity, whereas the warmer colour blends perfectly while flowing downwards diagonally from the left thigh to the right foot. The model looks elegant in that particular dress that reveals her beautiful long leg. ; )
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| "LOVE ME TENDER," says Faustino
I read about this architect, Didier Fiuza Faustino in the library and was
impressed by his creations, especially this metal chair by the name of
'Love Me Tender'. This monolithic chair possesses a minimalist and simple design. The legs of the metal chair are sharp at the ends. To me, it looks unfriendly and threatening because of its spear-like legs and its rigid metal body. On top of that, the slimmer bottom of the chair levitates the entire body and gives it a sense of weightlessness.
As a matter of fact, I am attracted by the design of this chair but not the comfort that it can possibly provide. I am pretty sure that it is not a comfortable object to rest on. =]
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* Came across this article from a forum and I found it to be very true. Here it sounds...
你们可能相爱过，你们也可能喜欢着彼此，
但是，为了什么原因你们没能在一起？
也许他为了朋友之间的义气，不能追你。
也许为了顾及家人的意见 ，你们没有在一起。
也许为了出国深造，他没有要你等他。
也许你们相遇太早，还不懂得珍惜对方。
也许你们相遇太晚，你们身边已经有了另一个人。
也许你回头太迟，对方已不再等待。
也许你们彼此在捉摸对方的心，而迟迟无法跨出界线。
不过即使你们没在一起，你们还是保持了朋友的关系。但是你们心底清楚，对这个人，你比朋友还多了一份关心。即使不能跟他名正言顺的牵着手逛街，你们还是可以做无所不谈的朋友。他有喜欢的人，你口头上会帮他追，心里却不是很清楚你是不是真的希望他追到。
他遇到困难时，你会尽你所能的帮他，不会计较谁又欠了谁。男女朋友吃醋了，你会安抚他们说你和他只是朋友，但你心中会有那么一丝的不确定。每个人这辈子，心中都有过这么一个特别的朋友，很矛盾的行为。一开始你不甘心只做朋友的，但久了，突然发现这样最好。
你宁愿这样关心他， 总好过你们在一起而有天会分手。
你宁愿做他的朋友，彼此不会吃醋，才可以真的无所不谈。
特别是这样，你还是知道，他永远会关心你的。做不成男女朋友，当他那个特别的朋友，有什么不好呢？你心中的这个特别的朋友...? 是谁呢？
很多的感情，都因为一厢情愿，最后连朋友都当不成了，常常觉得惋惜，可惜一些本来很好的友情，最后却因为对方的一句喜欢你，如果你没有反应，这一段友情似乎也难以维持下去，这也难怪有些人会因此不肯踏出这一步。
因为这就像是一场赌注，表白了之后不是成了男女朋友，要不就连朋友都当不成了。有些事不是你能预料的，或许对方不在意，你们还可以是朋友，但却已经不如从前的好。也是可惜，也是遗憾！但还有没有可能是另一种情况，你可能永远都不甘心只是朋友. . . . .
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| Heart-warming... Heartrending...
I came across these two photos from the net. Liked them very much. The contrast and content of these two photos show a sense of warmth and also empathy. A picture paints a thousand words. Need not any description or captions about them, I am sure that you are able to feel the implicit emotion in them.
Missing anyone now..?
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